We're trying Elimination Communication/Infant Potty Training with our little girl, who is no longer an infant she is now 14 months. Our daughter hates diapers, every diaper change was a huge struggle with a kicking, wiggling, screaming, crying toddler. We'd have to set up the diaper area ready to go and then try to get her down long enough to do a quick change. She hated it so much I told my husband I feel awful about it, like we're torturing her every time. I had actually pulled her potty out of the closet thinking she might soon be ready for potty training, but didn't know where to begin. However, that first night she actually did go in the potty! A few days later hubby did a bit of research and sent me an article he found that linked to Diaper Free Baby an awesome site that has tons of info and stories for/from parents on Elimination Communication.
So what is Elimination Communication (EC)? EC is a method that begins with the belief that all children are born knowing how to meet the need of elimination, they know they have to go and they can let you know they have to go, and they know when they have gone. However as time goes on and children are in diapers all the time, they forget these knowledge and get numb to that fact, therefore having to go through potty training at an older age usually about 3 when it is a new and unfamiliar process for them. Studies show that 50+% of all children in the world are potty trained by age 2, yet in the US we don't usually start until after that. EC allows parents to work with their child to understand what their natural cues are encompasses a few different methods which I will list below. (Looking back I now realize my daughter did have cues for needing to go when she was younger, she would get fussy and as soon as she wet her diaper she would start to cry and scream. Now at 14 months I realized those cues are gone, she makes a mess and usually just sits in it until I realize she needs to be changed. I wish we had started earlier with you so that she wouldn't have to relearn the cue behaviors and it would just be second nature, but even starting with her at 14 months we're having great success!)
- Some parents time potty breaks for their infant based on previous habits, or at regular intervals, especially after meals. This is a time when baby/toddler already has to go and is more likely to succeed in going in the potty/toilet/sink/bathtub (wherever the parent/caregiver decides to let the child go; while the sink/bathtub may sound odd, imagine your in a public restroom and the stalls are full, etc). This works great if you're starting with a toddler instead of an infant because they may be on more of a schedule and they have usually lost their natural cues. ***
- Some parents follow their child's natural cues, which are different baby, so you must observe your child to see what their cues are. (A search online for Elimination Communication cues will return a ton of different information so you can see what cue your child uses, they may even use a combination. It's common for your child to use different cues at different ages or to stop cueing altogether as they get older so you may need to switch to a different method until they get back into a routine of cueing).
- Some parents use a sound cue when they take their child to the bathroom/potty/etc. A whooshing/shushing sound like running water for number one, and even a grunting sound for number two. You can use whatever sounds you'd like or perhaps take cues from your child and the sounds they use when they eliminate. After a while of this process your child may be able to go on cue. (I've read tons of articles on children from 11 weeks going on cue, and even seen a 5 month old sitting on a toilet going on cue.)
*** Most parents use a combination of all three of these methods and almost ever EC parent uses the sound cues.
(For our daughter we use the shushing sound like running water for potty, but haven't much tried number two yet; we'll try that later on. One thing at a time, hehe.) If you prefer to read a book that may give you a more in depth how to than the above site The Diaper Free Baby for the book of the same name seems to be the most popular that I've found in my searches. I however just read both of these sites about 5 days ago and went from there so don't feel like you need to get a book, plus other EC parents (especially online searching) really hold a wealth of information!
In my opinion the best thing about EC is that it's laid back, so many parents get so stressed out about potty training which in turn stresses out the child. This method is so relaxed that the child will also be able to relax and it'll become more of just something your family does and less some sort of pressure put on the child to not have accidents. Our daughter has accidents and that's okay because that's part of EC and that's how we're learning to work better together to be in sync. Below I will explain what my daughter wears while we're practicing EC.
We are what most ECers would call part timers, but I'd almost call us full timers because if we think our daughter needs to go we put her on the potty, whether she's in EC attire or not. While their is not a specific EC attire, in our house we have switched to one. For some they prefer to let their little ones run around au natural which is fine, and we did for the first two days, but we decided we'd like to clean up less puddles, lol! While we didn't mind my husband thought there must be a better way, but I still didn't want to go to just a regular diaper as I could not see her going and putting them on her was such a hassle. I know that some parents will probably just use pull-ups or plastic pant covers while ECing and I'm sure that works great for them, but after some research I prefer using a prefold belt. Basically that's a fancy name for folding a cloth diaper in thirds and attaching it in loin cloth fashion using a usually elastic band/tie of some sort leaving baby looking like a little sumo wrestler. See this photo for what I'm talking about as I had to look it up myself as I've never heard of one. If you don't like the sumo look you can fan out the back so that your little one's tush is covered, or even put it on as if you were going to pin it and just use the belt to hold it in place instead. Plus you can even fancy them up if you want, today for kicks I used as a prefold belt my husband's old tuxedo bow tie, which I put towards the back, and added some tiny leg warmers so my daughter looked super stylish! lol! :-) I enjoy the prefold belt as it's super easy to get it off when I think she's about to go, I can just tug on the back and she's ready to go.
As for the belt portion, I've tried multiple things, and I still don't think I've found a favorite. For instance at any hardware store you should be able to find velcro elastic cable ties, I'm talking heavy duty about 1" wide ones. It works great, but is heavy duty so while it holds the cloth diaper in place with almost no chance of falling down the velcro is really hard to get off and the elastic doesn't have much stretch so when baby sat on the potty without us first taking it off it was too tight. Then I tried just tying a band around her waist, and wasn't thrilled about that because it wasn't elastic so I had to untie it or it'd be too tight when she sat down again, plus the tying took way to long when my daughter just wants to run off and play. Then I tried a hairband, great elastic, but it wasn't tight enough and the cloth diaper hung loose. I tried crocheting a band out of elastic thread, but it ended up too elastic and doesn't hold up the diaper either. So for now if I had to pick a favorite it is probably my hubby's bow tie, lol! It works the best and isn't to hard to get off. I'd love to hear what others use! I definitely think it needs to be elastic, but an enclosed band is annoying to slide up and she usually pulls at it if it's still on her belly when she's sitting on the potty. I'd like it to be something I could unhook/unbutton/etc. Any ideas?
When we're not actively ECing and don't want to worry about any potential accidents around the house I put little miss in a cloth diaper prefold style, but with a stylish pair of plastic pants holding it up. This way no leak worries, and no regular diaper to toss later. (I really dislike plastic pants but if we're snuggling in bed with her I we don't want to worry we'll end up with a soggy mattress.) I know most people would probably say they hate cloth diapers, or wouldn't try them, but if your child is older now give it a shot. We're saving money on diapers and while I wouldn't do it with an infant I couldn't imagine trying to clean up meconium poo! I hadn't planned on using them when she goes poo as we figured we'd use a disposable for that, she seems more comfortable in the prefold belt and has gone twice in them. Honestly, it's way easier than a regular diaper. They're looser so the poo doesn't stick as much so less wiping, and a cleaner baby. Not to mention instead of a stinky poo diaper pail I just tilt the cloth diaper bundle over the toilet and voila, all gone! There's usually barely anything left to wash off on the cloth diaper which is great for me! I keep a wet bag in my bathroom with our wet cloth diapers, and her occasional cotton training pants that usually get wet also. I do them once a day on a quick cycle (as they are prewashed) on hot and I'm sure that bit of water and electricity is cheaper than the cost of the amount of regular disposable diapers I would have normally gone through in a day. They come out white and freshly scented (do be careful what you wash them with as some babies are extra sensitive, however ours has never been so I use our regular detergent). It's odd and I don't know if there is something in diapers that reacts with baby pee, but as soon as I got close to my diaper after she had gone I could smell it a mile away (I'm talking about #1). However, now when she goes in the cloth diaper I have to get a huge sniff to get a hint of pee, and what I mainly smell is still my fresh laundry detergent scent! :-) If we're going out or little miss is going down for the night or for the nap we use Huggies Slip-Ons and they're working great. They're a lot less bulky than a regular diaper and fit her great! They don't stick out above her pants and they have tabs on the sides so you can open them if you need to. She's slowly starting to put her legs into them for us and tonight she even tried to pull them up which is super!
Cues are entirely up to you and your baby. For us we use a shushing sound like running water to try and cue her to potty. She is not yet going on cue (it's been 4 days, lol), but we try and do it every time so she will catch on. (It's amazing the stuff she's already learned, she can turn on and off the light switch for us, and just a few days ago I taught her to pull out a wipe for me before she gets off the potty!) We try to make the experience fun for our daughter and her potty is a wooden chair that has a magazine style rack on the side where we store some books so she can flip through them while she's on the potty. We also sing songs and dance (well as much as you can dance while sitting on the potty, hehe). If you're child fusses a lot when they're on the potty they may not have to go, sometimes our daughter does this immediately when we put her on and doesn't stop within a few seconds. This means she doesn't have to go and wants to go back to playing so we pull her off immediately. Other times she may fuss a second until we hand her a book and then she's fine and usually giggling about something within a few seconds. Our daughter is 14 months and not yet walking so we're not doing a bathroom potty yet, her potty is in her room (as our nearly 100 year old bath is too tiny to accommodate it). Some get a potty seat to put on the regular toilet, but with her not yet walking we figured this would be a little difficult. Once she's walking and can get to her potty and on and off herself then we will try moving onto this. Some parents hold their child over the toilet in the bathroom or sit on it with them, I've tried holding her but she doesn't like it and I've tried sitting with her but she isn't fond of that either (plus our toilet is rather small and we don't both quite fit, lol).
As I mentioned above we've been at this for less than 5 days and I want to explain some achievements my daughter has made not to make anyone feel bad if your child doesn't make them, but just to encourage you that it is possible to move in the direction of using less diapers and helping your child become more aware of going to the bathroom.
Days 1 & 2 were basically the same and consisted of only about 1 hour each day. Our daughter went bare bottomed and was peeing very often (I actually felt bad realizing every time we changed her diaper that probably contained multiple pees and I hadn't even noticed). In about an hour she went about every 10 minutes (this wasn't long after a bottle so that's not unusual, we just didn't realize how much she was going). She went on the potty once each of those first two days. Days 3 & 4 were different, but one huge change overall a lot less pee, and we ECed for longer about 2-3 hours each day. Day 3 our daughter went on the potty once, but during those few hours she only went about 3-4 times total. ECers would say she was "consolidating her pees." I didn't quite get this at first, but it makes sense now. It's as if she's learning she's going to go on the potty and she can go there, so instead of just going whenever she makes an effort, even if ever so slight, to empty her bladder when she's on the potty so she goes less often. Day 3 was also the first poo in her prefold belt and honestly not bad, except that I had it on loose so most of it rolled out onto the floor, sorry if that's TMI, but mind you I said rolled out, not like I had to scrub the floor after, just a quick wipe with some sanitizing cleaner. I found this a much easier clean up than with traditional diapers, and didn't mind it one bit. Day 4 also had way less pee and twice on the potty and one poo that almost made it to the potty. Again, poo was much easier to clean up and it all stayed in the cloth diaper and I just plopped it into the toilet and flushed. Day 4 has been our daughter's best so far and it really made us feel like we're making huge strides and we will definitely stick with it. This morning I took my daughter to run some errands with me and I was out about 2-3 hours. I couldn't believe every time I checked her and she was still dry. When I stopped in one of the last 2 stores I asked her if she needed to potty (we sign) and she nodded frantically (this isn't uncommon as she doesn't really understand everything 100% yet). I rushed her into the public restroom and she would not go, I figured she just really didn't have to go so we went about our shopping trip and then headed home. She was asleep about halfway home as it was close to her nap time and by the time I got home I checked her before pulling her out and realized she was still dry. It occurred to me could she be holding it all this time so I unbuckled her and ran inside waking her as she jostled up and down in my arms. We got inside and she stood groggily as I pulled down her skirt and took off her diaper, she cried as she started to go just before I lifted her onto the potty. It's almost as if she was embarrassed she couldn't hold it, and I felt awful I didn't realize sooner she might be holding it to go at home on her own potty. I quickly smiled at her and made her pee cue so she could connect it while she sat on her potty going. She stopped crying and smiled looking down realizing she was going on her potty then she grinned big and we both clapped. When I got her off the potty I turned her and pointed we both celebrated by clapping and doing a little dance, it was great! I know she may have started going before I got her on the potty, but I still consider that a win! :-) We all did! :-) Here's hoping Day 5 and beyond brings more celebrating! We just know we're having fun and our daughter is happy which couldn't make us happier! :-) It's working for us! We're not quite ready to put her down to bed diaper free, like some ECers I've read about, but we just started so we'll see. hehe...
So to sum this up this isn't for everyone and it's not going to happen overnight. It's laid back and relaxed so you can do it all the time or just when you have time. Don't feel bad if you're not starting out with a newborn, it's never too late. Also, don't feel bad if you're not going totally diaper free, it's whatever is best and works for your child and your family. Besides being great for little ones that hate traditional disposable diapers like my daughter, this is a great method for those who have a child that gets constant diaper rash; the best relief is letting their tush air out which can be done while ECing. I hope you've enjoyed reading my info/experiences and if you have any questions I'd love to hear them and I'll try to answer what I can or try to find you an answer if I can't.
